✦ The Archive
Where the Spell Was First Broken
Before the Field revealed herself, there was the unraveling.
There were stories I had to live all the way through—
illusions I had to hold until they dissolved in my hands.
This page holds those echoes.
These aren’t just blogs.
They are transmissions wrapped in language.
They carry the memory of what it took to see through the spell.
To meet Maya.
To walk HER Leela.
To remember that what’s false often has to be fully lived before it can be released.
Read them as breadcrumbs.
Read them as mirrors.
Read them when you’re ready to remember what you already know.
The Lost Flame: Rediscovering Fire’s Sacred Power
I’ve been attending Maha Yagnams since 2014—yes, back when Instagram filters were still in their awkward teenage years. Every year, I sit at the sacred fire: mornings for homas, evenings for pujas, with a break in between. But this year? This year was different.
Saturday’s fire ceremony was five hours long. And let me tell you: it was the most intense day I’ve ever had at the fire. I’m not talking about “ugh, it’s hot and I’m a little sweaty” intense. I’m talking raw, burning, life-altering intense. It was the first time I ever had to step away from my fire—because I thought I was going to explode.
Mysterium Tremendum: When the Divine Breaks You Open
Mysterium tremendum—a phrase coined by theologian Rudolf Otto—is the experience of encountering the vast, awe-inspiring, and sometimes terrifying presence of the Divine. It is the feeling of being utterly small and yet profoundly connected. It is the rush of energy that overtakes you when you stand on the precipice of something beyond comprehension.